One of the most difficult ideas to explain is the relationship between motivation and action. Research and clinical experience point to an answer that may initially seem counterintuitive.
A thought I often hear in my practice is:
“I’ll do it when I feel better.”
It sounds logical. Why go outside when you do not expect to enjoy it? Why meet friends when you feel tired and disconnected? Why return to a hobby when nothing feels interesting anymore?
However, waiting until you feel motivated can sometimes keep you stuck for longer than you expect.
During periods of low mood, people often lose the desire to do things. Activities that once brought pleasure may begin to feel meaningless. Someone may stop exercising, cancel plans, spend more time in bed, avoid responsibilities, or feel that everything requires more energy than they can give.
With every cancellation and avoided activity, their world can gradually become smaller.
Understanding the Low-Mood Cycle
When someone experiences a prolonged low mood, several changes may happen at the same time. They may have less energy, withdraw socially, stop engaging in meaningful activities, and avoid situations that feel overwhelming.
In the moment, these choices often make sense. Avoiding something difficult can provide immediate relief. However, that short-term relief can contribute to a longer-term cycle:
Low mood → less activity → fewer rewarding experiences → lower mood
For example, I once worked with a client who regularly canceled plans because he did not feel motivated to meet his friends. In the short term, canceling helped him feel less pressured. Over time, however, he began to lose meaningful friendships and opportunities to connect with new people.
Similarly, someone who stops exercising because they feel exhausted may avoid discomfort in the moment. Yet stepping away from physical activity completely may also affect their physical and emotional well-being over time.
In other words, what feels most comfortable in the moment may not always support us in the long term.
What Is Behavioral Activation?
Behavioral activation is an evidence-based approach commonly used to support people experiencing depression, low mood, and a lack of motivation.
It is not about forcing yourself to be productive or constantly busy. It does not mean ignoring your emotions or pretending that everything is fine.
Instead, behavioral activation is built around one simple idea:
Sometimes action needs to come before motivation, not after it.
The aim is to interrupt the low-mood cycle by introducing small, realistic changes that gradually help a person reconnect with daily life.
With the client mentioned earlier, we identified some of the negative thoughts that were preventing him from socializing. We then focused on actions that aligned with one of his values: maintaining meaningful relationships.
The first social event was the most difficult. However, as he continued taking small steps, socializing began to feel more manageable. Over time, his motivation increased, he rebuilt several friendships, and he formed new connections.
Motivation and Action: Which Comes First?
Have you ever had thoughts like these?
- “When I feel motivated, I’ll start exercising.”
- “When I feel better, I’ll start doing the things I enjoy again.”
- “If I don’t feel like doing something, it means I’m not ready.”
- “Small actions won’t make a difference, so there’s no point in trying.”
- “I need to completely change my life before I can feel different.”
These thoughts are common. However, motivation is often the result of action rather than the cause of it.
Think about a cold morning when you do not want to leave your bed. The first step may feel difficult. But after getting up, taking a shower, and starting your day, you may notice your energy slowly beginning to change.
The same principle can apply emotionally. A small action can create a small positive experience. That experience may then make it easier to take another action.
This does not mean every activity will immediately feel enjoyable. Someone experiencing depression may take a walk and still feel sad. They may meet a friend and still feel disconnected.
The goal is not instant happiness. The goal is to gradually rebuild the connection between your actions, your environment, and your emotional experiences.
Start Small: Choose Realistic Actions
One question I often return to is:
“What is the easiest and most realistic step you can take to make progress?”
My internship supervisor asked me this during a difficult period in my final year of university. It did not solve everything, but it gave me a sense of direction. At the very least, it helped me identify the first step.
Many people make the mistake of setting several large goals at once. Someone experiencing low mood may think:
“I need to completely change my lifestyle.”
“I need to exercise five times a week.”
“I need to become productive again.”
Although these goals may sound positive, they can quickly become overwhelming. When someone already feels exhausted, unrealistic expectations may create another experience of disappointment or perceived failure.
Behavioral activation focuses instead on small, achievable actions.
These might include:
- Getting dressed instead of staying in pajamas all day.
- Opening the curtains and letting sunlight into the room.
- Taking a five-minute walk outside.
- Replying to a message from a friend.
- Preparing a simple meal.
- Spending ten minutes on an activity you previously enjoyed.
These actions may appear insignificant, but they represent something important: movement away from complete withdrawal and toward engagement.
Starting small is not a sign of weakness. Small actions often provide the foundation for meaningful change.
Choose Values Over Productivity
Behavioral activation is not simply about becoming more productive.
There is often strong pressure to perform, achieve, and make every activity useful. However, emotional well-being is not only about completing tasks. A meaningful activity does not always need to produce a measurable result.
One of my personal values is learning. If I were choosing a behavioral activation activity for myself, I might visit a museum or join a walking tour. These activities would give me an opportunity to reconnect with something I genuinely value.
Someone else might value relationships, creativity, movement, spirituality, or time in nature. Their actions could involve meeting a friend, painting, playing a sport, spending time outdoors, or returning to a meaningful personal practice.
We are all different. Behavioral activation is more likely to feel meaningful when the chosen activity reflects the individual’s values, interests, and priorities.
The goal is not to fill every moment with tasks. It is to gradually make room for experiences that help you reconnect with the life you want to build.
Expect the Beginning to Feel Difficult
From my experience working with clients, the beginning is often the hardest part.
Many people expect change to feel inspiring. They imagine waking up one morning and suddenly feeling ready. In reality, psychological change can feel uncomfortable at first.
Starting professional support, exercising after a long break, reconnecting with people, or changing an established habit may initially feel unfamiliar and difficult.
It can be similar to training a muscle that has not been used for a long time. The first attempts require effort, but repetition gradually helps build strength.
Instead of asking:
“Do I feel motivated enough?”
Try asking:
“What is one small action I can take today, even if the motivation is not fully there yet?”
Final Thoughts: One Small Step Can Be Enough
Low mood can convince people that they need to wait until they feel better before they start living again. Behavioral activation challenges that idea.
Sometimes, waiting for motivation keeps us in the same cycle. Small actions can create small changes, and those changes can gradually help us reconnect with daily life.
The goal is not to force happiness. It is not to ignore pain or pretend that difficulties do not exist. It is to gently recognize that emotions and actions can influence each other.
Even during difficult periods, you can take small steps toward the person you want to become and the life you want to rebuild.
The first step does not need to be a dramatic transformation.
Sometimes, it is simply getting dressed, opening the door, and spending five minutes outside.
